| Handsome guys get girls that are pretty
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| Other guys make it cause they’re clever and witty
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| But the only love I ever got I got out of pity cause I’m the ugliest man in town
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| Yeah I drive down the street in a Roys Rolls car
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| Use hundred dollar bills when I light my cigar
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| But you know folks that really don’t get you very far
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| When you’re the ugliest man in town
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| There was a note on the doorstep where I was found
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| Is said this poor child weighs eleven pounds
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| So bring him up healthy and welthy and sound
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| Keep his back to the light don’t let him turn around
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| Yeah all you women you’re heartless and cold all you want is my silver and gold
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| Don’t you know I’ve got a beautiful soul though I’m the ugliest man in town
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| Yeah I’m so ugly I gotta shave in the dark
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| The kids start to cry when I walk through the park
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| The clock stop tickin' and dogs start to bark whenever I come around
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| Oh oh oh I walk down the street the girls all hiss me
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| If I died tomorrow not one of them would miss me
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| Only reason they ball me is they can’t stand to kiss me
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| I’m the ugliest man in town oh yeah the ugliest man in town |