| You can read it in the paper
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| Or watch it on the news
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| Everybody’s got the pre-apocalyptic blues
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| You better be ready when the shit goes down
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| You better head on down to Costco
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| Get you a bucket full of rice and beans
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| A year’s supply of 2-ply for your composting latrines
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| So you’ll be ready when the shit goes down
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| Don’t hesitate don’t procrastinate
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| Or you’ll all be running scared
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| There ain’t no second chances for brave or impaired
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| Did you know there’s a couple of commies' hiding underneath your bed
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| And the zombies gonna eat up all the brains in your head
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| I got a Rambo knife with a compass
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| And ballistic bug out bag
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| Got a AK47 'bout a hundred Dexter Mags
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| Gonna be ready when the shit goes down
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| You know what I’m talking about
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| Isis and Al-Qaeda
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| About a billion red Chinese
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| You say you ain’t worried and I say honky please
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| You better be ready when the shit goes down
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| By my Jacuzzi there’s an Uzi and an RPG
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| Got a stinger missile mounted on my SUV
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| They won’t get to me no matter who they are
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| I got land mines buried all over my yard
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| 'Cause I read it in the paper
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| I watched it on the news
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| And now I’ve got the pre-apocalyptic blues
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| I’m gonna be ready when the shit goes down
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| Well you be ready when the shit goes down |