| Oh yeah, gold digger took my money
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| Dipped my heart and hands in honey
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| Oh, snake lady stole my savings
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| Told gold digger she was having my babies
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| Well, gold digger swung, snake lady fell
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| Yeah, took gold digger up to Chapel Hill
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| I married her fast; |
| murdered her young
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| Took my money back and made my run
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| Well, bus driver, all in red
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| Go pull this bus over and end up dead
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| Go drive this bus down to Mexico
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| Park it on the cliff where that good grass grows
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| Until a chopper came along one sunny day
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| To burn my crops, lock me away
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| Girl, I’m eager, young, and qualified
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| Got a date with that chair, oh, in late July
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| Oh yeah so, my momma, old and grey
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| Sittin' at her home, just a-weepin' away
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| Her only boy, washed down the drain
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| Gonna take her son and lock him away
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| Well, momma should be proud of me
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| I lived like a man, oh, I’ll die like a king
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| Cause I’m eager, young, and qualified
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| Got a date with that chair, oh in late July
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| My pappy old and fat
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| Chewin' his cigars with his hair slicked back
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| Roll him over, beat him black
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| Say it’s from that boy he never had
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| Well, papa should be in my place
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| To fry like bacon, hang like lace
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| Cause I’m eager, young, and starry-eyed
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| Got a date with that chair, oh in late July
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| Oh yeah so, big Betty, my old squeeze
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| Kissed you so good you go weak in the knees
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| Come to see your old man pop
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| I wanna have you there when my big heart stops
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| Don’t you worry, don’t you fret
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| I won’t die with no regrets
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| Oh, the big leagues call and I reply
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| «I got a date with that chair, oh, in late July» |