| It was on the good ship Venus
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| By Christ, ya shoulda seen us The figurehead was a whore in bed
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| And the mast, a mammoth penis
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| The captain of this lugger
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| He was a dirty bugger
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| He wasn’t fit to shovel shit
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| From one place to another
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| Friggin’in the riggin'
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| Friggin’in the riggin'
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| Friggin’in the riggin'
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| There was fuck all else to do The first mate’s name was Morgan
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| By Christ, he was a gorgon
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| Ten times a day he’d stop and play
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| With his fuckin’organ
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| The first mate’s name was Cooper
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| By Christ he was a trooper.
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| He jerked and jerked until he worked
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| Himself into a stupor
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| The second mate was Andy
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| By Christ, he had a dandy
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| Till they crushed his cock on a jagged rock
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| For cumming in the brandy
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| The cabin boy was Flipper
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| He was a fuckin’nigger
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| He stuffed his ass with broken glass
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| And circumcised the skipper
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| The Captain’s wife was Mabel
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| To fuck she was not able
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| So the dirty shits, they nailed her tits
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| Across the barroom table
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| The Captain had a daughter
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| Who fell in deep sea water
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| And by her squeals we knew the eels
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| Had found 'er sexual quarters
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| Repeat Chorus to Fade |