| My mother saw me kiss a boy
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| When I was only ten
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| Well you might think that’s not too bad
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| But things were different then
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| She pulled me to her side and she sat me on her knees, she said
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| I think it’s time that you and I discussed the birds and bees
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| She pulled me to her side and she sat me on her knees, she said
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| I think it’s time that you and I discussed the birds and bees
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| She said always use a condom you can do just what you please
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| They stop you getting pregnant and catchings STDs
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| Birds and bees and birds and bees and birds and bees and birds and…
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| Said all men are bastards
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| There’s two things they want from you
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| Someone at home to cook their meals
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| And someone they can screw
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| Then after twenty-seven years
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| They’ll get a little itch
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| And they’ll run off and leave you
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| For some thirty year old bitch
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| My mother pulled me to her side, sat me on her knees, she said
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| I think it’s time that you and I discussed the birds and bees
|
| She said if you use a condom you can do just what you please
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| They stop you getting pregnant and catchings STDs
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| I don’t think my mother liked boys very much
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| Then your thoughts might turn to girlies
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| Don’t fight it, it’s okay
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| There really is no problem
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| If you find out that you’re gay
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| But you might find it hard to form
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| Long-term relationships
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| So my advice, just grab the girl
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| Who’s got the biggest tits
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| My mother pulled me to her side, sat me on her knees, she said
|
| I think it’s time that you and I discussed the birds and bees
|
| She said always use a condom you can do just what you please
|
| They stop you getting pregnant and catchings STDs
|
| Birds and bees and birds and bees and birds and bees and birds and…
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| When she runs off with someone else
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| It might not be the end
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| Cause you might take a fancy
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| To our fine four-legged things
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| But their bits are all in different parts
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| You won’t know what to do
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| So I bought this book with diagrams
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| Especially for you
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| My mother pulled me to her side, sat me on her knees, she said
|
| I think it’s time that you and I discussed the birds and bees
|
| She said always use a condom you can do just what you please
|
| They stop you getting pregnant and catchings STDs
|
| Birds and bees and birds and bees and birds and bees and birds and…
|
| Or you might turn to your family
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| A couple’s not too bad
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| Just remember uncle Kevin’s mine
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| And don’t go with your dad
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| I said ma, don’t patronize me
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| Don’t take me for a fool
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| Everything you’ve said we learned three years ago in school!
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| My mother pulled me to her side, sat me on her knees, she said
|
| I think it’s time that you and I discussed the birds and bees
|
| She said always use a condom you can do just what you please
|
| They stop you getting pregnant and catchings STDs
|
| Birds and bees and birds and bees and birds and bees and birds and… |