| When you meet somebody for the first time
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| There are special things you’re supposed to say
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| Which you may not mean but they sound polite as can be
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| Would you like to learn them?
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| Well then, repeat after me
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| Happy to make your acquaintance
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| 'Appy to make your acquaintance
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| Thank you so much, I feel fine
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| T’ank you so much, omma feel fine
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| Happy to make your acquaintance
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| Acquaintance and let me say the pleasure
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| Da pleasure is mine, da pleasure’s a mine
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| How do you do? |
| Pleased to know you
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| 'Ow do you do? |
| Pleased to know you
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| And though my English is poor
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| My English is a goddamn poor
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| Happy to make your acquaintances
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| Now won’t you please say, likewise
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| Look a wise, no likewise
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| Like a ways, no likewise
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| Oh, like a wise, I’m sure |