| I am a secret government agent armed with lies
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| About secret government things
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| I have secret government documents that could knock you dead
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| From your regular citizen lives
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| And I’ll break into your regular citizen homes with my government knives
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| I do regular citizen things, but that’s where it ends
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| 'Cause my secret government mind is a rare breed
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| I can’t love, I can’t feel or have passion but I don’t mind
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| 'Cause my secret government facts tell me
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| Despite what many normal citizens say
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| Love causes pain and pain hurts and now passion is dead
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| Before I became a secret agent spy
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| I was put on this earth with a regular life
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| Smiling and laughing and singing away
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| But I could not keep my curious mind at bay
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| I set out to answer a question of mine
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| About human heart versus rational mind
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| See, I thought if I planted my heart in the ground
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| I could grow a heart tree and spread my love around
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| I enlisted the help of a very close friend
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| And we ripped out my heart so the test could begin
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| And we watered my heart
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| And we let the sun feed it vitamins
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| And we waited for that sprout
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| And I dug up my heart and I found it was nothing but dirt
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| My heart had become the earth
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| Now I’m a secret government agent armed with a past
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| About regular citizen life
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| I can’t love, I can’t feel or have passion
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| But I don’t mind, 'cause you can’t break my government heart
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| You cannot break my secret agent heart ever again |