| I promise not to rip you off
|
| And I promise not to sell you out
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| I will never smoke all your stash if I happen to find it whilst tidying up --
|
| which, let’s face it, isn’t likely
|
| Well, we would always leave you at least a joint’s worth, anyway
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| And I will never eat the last bit of cereal, and then put the empty packet back,
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| hoping you won’t notice, or if I do, I’ll pay for the next lot, I promise
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| 'Cos I know that really gets on your nerves
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| And I will never sleep with any of your friends — well, not your best friends
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| I don’t know just what I’m meant to do
|
| I don’t want to make it wrong for you
|
| How can we escape what’s happened to
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| All those others who’ve gone before us two?
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| Baby, we have lived together
|
| Now we’ll do it all forever
|
| Hold my hand, don’t ever let it go
|
| Close your eyes, hold tight, and here we go
|
| And how do we avoid being like all those other cheese-masters?
|
| Demonstrating the facilities of their new car and the trouser press
|
| From hunter-gatherer to washer-dryer is a long, strange trip
|
| And what if our kids turn into pudgy blobs, wearing Union Jack underpants,
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| addicted to coffee whitener?
|
| Bloated caricatures of something vaguely recognisable as a human being
|
| A human being that you once loved
|
| I don’t know just what I’m meant to do
|
| I don’t want to make it wrong for you
|
| How can we escape what’s happened to
|
| All those others who’ve gone before us two?
|
| Baby, we have lived together
|
| Now we’ll do it all forever
|
| Hold my hand, don’t ever let it go
|
| Close your eyes, hold tight, and here we go
|
| So this is it:
|
| We’re walking down the aisle
|
| The dawning of a new era
|
| Is this the start of a new airbrushed Disney-life
|
| Or some 36-part depressing-as-hell Northern drama to be repeated every night
|
| for the rest of our lives?
|
| Oh and now I’m frightened
|
| Oh yeah, I’m shitting Barratt houses here
|
| Is this the right thing?
|
| And then suddenly I’m turning to look at your face and I’m saying:
|
| «I do», «I do», «I do»
|
| I don’t know just what I’m meant to do
|
| I don’t want to make it wrong for you
|
| How can we escape what’s happened to
|
| All those others who’ve gone before us two?
|
| Baby, we have lived together
|
| Now we’ll do it all forever
|
| Hold my hand, don’t ever let it go
|
| Close your eyes, hold tight, and here we go
|
| I do |