| Well baby Johnny-Two-Times took a walk alright
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| To the hard-on row, it was a cold dark night
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| Meaner than Satan, smooth as a shark
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| Around the corner of love he heard the wild dogs bark
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| He heard the lady scream all down the line
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| He pulled down his pants and got ready to grind
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| Now little Suzy Ballcrush she was pretty messed up
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| In her evening gown looking for you know what
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| She met the two-times man, such an ugly sight
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| She said it’s do or die and then he pulled a knife
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| Like the stars in the sky
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| They shine so bright at night
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| But there’s trouble ahead
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| This is what I say:
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| It’s gonna be a cold heart disaster
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| Are you talking to me now?
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| Said Suzy to the master
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| It’s gonna be a cold heart disaster
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| Should have stayed at home
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| Or walked a little faster
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| Well baby Johnny-Two-Times' pretty hot tonight
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| Walking down the street gently stroking his knife
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| Meaner than Satan, crude as a dog
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| With a smile on his face he took a ride on the hog
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| Little Suzy Ballcrush don’t you be afraid
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| Because bad motherfucking Johnny is minute made
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| So don’t you ever feed hungry birds in the street
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| Cause you never know who you’re about to meet
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| There’s a lesson they learned and then their fingers got burned
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| Because of bad fucking Johnny I can hear Suzy curse |