| I want me a Vegas girl
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| I don’t like the song but I’d love me a Vegas girl
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| How do I have the audacity to say this?
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| I’m a little bit of a sadist, girl
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| I say this, I say that
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| Whatever I say, I never take back
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| I’ve got no respect
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| Ask Dream Mclean and his enormous head
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| I ain’t got the heart to care
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| Ask him how long he spends in the barbers' chair
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| I wouldn’t wanna be your barber
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| Picture me on a sheep in a barber
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| I’m Green like a frog and I ribbet
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| No, I’ve not lost it, I’m just being silly
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| Really need an ump and I’m going on millie
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| I don’t mean I’m going on Millie
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| How much longer could he go?
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| My mind can only be described as unhealthy
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| No, I wasn’t made in Chelsea
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| I’m just living it up real tosh
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| I wear them dead man’s shoes
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| I wear them dead man’s shoes
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| I wear them dead man’s shoes
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| I wear them dead man’s shoes
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| I’ve had an idea, who knows how
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| We can raise the national IQ? |
| I do
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| Take every member of every reality TV show
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| For a little trip on a ship and then sink the boat
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| Thank God Millie quit the show, I’m unbiased
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| It’s simple, Millie would’ve been on the ship too
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| A prick to anybody and everybody
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| There ain’t a woman alive that I wouldn’t be a dick to
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| But you came into my life
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| And now everything’s so sweet
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| I found my perfect match in a woman
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| Who gives more hugs than me, Millie
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| Me and my bird are barmy
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| Two peas in a pod, edamame
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| Couldn’t care less what the whole world thinks of me
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| As long as the in-laws think I’m charming, darling
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| In a couple of years, I’ll be speaking posh
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| «He ain’t hood anymore, he’s a tot»
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| Picture hearing me speaking in a posh accent
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| Like «come hither now, clean my cock»?
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| «What did you say, young man?»
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| «Is this the way young people behave nowadays, young man?»
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| That was when she hit me with her walking stick and said
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| «That ought to teach you for talking shit»
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| I don’t even know who she was, this is what the weed does
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| Millie, I’m gonna be with you forever
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| Only till the day that we divorce and I get taken to the cleaners
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| Probably for getting caught fondling the clean-er
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| It’s never gonna happen!
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| She’s 68!
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| She has had four children!
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| It would be like throwing a hotdog down a hallway!
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| I wear them, I wear them
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| Them dead man’s shoes, I wear them
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| I wear them, I wear them
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| Them dead man’s shoes, I wear them
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| Dead man’s shoes, I wear them
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| Dead man’s shoes, I wear them
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| I wear them, I wear them
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| Them dead man’s shoes, I wear them |