| While standing at the junction on 42nd Street
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| I idly kick a pebble lying near my feet
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| I hear a weird noise, take a look up and down
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| The cause of the commotion is right there on the ground
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| Imagine my surprise, thought I’d left it at home
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| But there’s no doubt about it, it’s my own tombstone
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| I went into a shop and bought a loaf of bread
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| I sunk my teeth into it, thought I’d bust my head
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| I dashed to the dentist, 'Hey, I’ve got an awful pain'
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| The man looks in my mouth and screams, 'This boy is insane'
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| Imagine my surprise, thought I’d left it at home
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| But there’s a lump in my mouth of my own tombstone
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| I went in to see a movie, got the only empty seat
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| I tried to stretch out in it, something blocking my feet
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| Finally the lights came up, and I could clearly see
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| A slab of engraved marble, just staring up at me
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| Imagine my surprise, thought I’d left it at home
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| But there’s no doubt I’m sitting on my own tombstone |