| I got back in town a day before I’d planned to I smiled and said I’ll sure surprise my wife
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| I don’t think I’ll phone, I’ll just head on home
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| But I didn’t know the cold hard facts of life
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| I passed a little wine store on the corner
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| I pictured pink champagne by candlelight
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| I stopped the car right then, got out and hurried in My mind not on the cold hard facts of life
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| A stranger stood there laughing by the counter
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| He said, I’ll take two bottles of your best
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| Her husband’s out of town and there’s a party
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| He winkled as if to say you know the rest
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| I left the store two steps behind the stranger
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| From there to my house his car stayed in sight
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| But it wasn’t till he turned into my drive that I learned
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| I was witnessing the cold hard facts of life
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| I drove around the block till I was dizzy
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| Each time the noise came louder from within
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| Then I saw our bottle there beside me I drank a fifth of courage and walked in Lord, you should’ve seen their frantic faces
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| As they screamed and cried, please put away the knife
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| I guess I’ll go to hell or I’ll rot here in this cell
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| But who taught who the cold hard facts of life
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| Who taught who the cold hard facts of life |