| This is the greatest song that has ever been made
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| It has really good lyrics and a really cool guitar
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| It took me fifteen minutes to write and record it
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| I know you’re very impressed
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| And you wish it was your song
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| Well buddy, i’ve got a deal for you
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| Please give me all your money and let me hang out with your mom
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| In exchange you can have this song on your itunes account
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| I show up at seven sharp, ready to hang with your mom
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| And your dad answers the door and says he’s the only one home
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| I said, «that's the next best thing»
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| We stayed up really late
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| He let me drink one whole beer
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| And he tucked me into your bed
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| He read me a bedtime story
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| Told me he’s proud of me
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| And right before i passed out, he got really serious
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| And he said, «i've got a deal for you, please kill my son and take his place in
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| my house.»
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| I said, «ok, dad. |
| whatever you say — i’ll do anything for you.»
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| Everyone’s dad wishes that i was their son
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| As of right now, i have one billion dads
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| They all come to my baseball games
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| And they cheer when i swing my bat at the ball |
| They don’t care if i hit, hit the ball or not
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| We’re proud of you son, we’re proud of you son, we’re proud of you son!
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| You’re so athletic, you’re so athletic, you’re so athletic!
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| You’re a natural, you’re a natural, you’re a natural!
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| Hey
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| Hey
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| Hey
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| Hey, keep your eye on the ball!
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| That’s my boy!
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| Me too!
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| Keep your head held high, keep your head held high, keep your head held high!
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| It’s ok buddy, try again!
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| Rome wasn’t built in a day, rome wasn’t built in a day, rome wasn’t built in a
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| day!
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| Thank you, dads
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| All one billion of you
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| I don’t care that i had to kill one billion of your sons to earn your love
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| I’d do it again, gladly
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| Ya know? |
| this is a really cool guitar right here
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| And those were some really good lyrics
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| It’s safe to say that this is the greatest song ever made
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| If you don’t think so, heh, just ask your dad |