| Om-pa-pa oom-pa-pa oom-pa-pa oom-pa-paaaaa
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| Fat sweaty bulldog
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| Stood in the sun
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| Stone village swamp man
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| Slow motion run
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| Tender poke police walker
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| Precious birthday fudge
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| Swamp night bull nail
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| Walker done done
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| Hot sweaty bulldog stood in the sunthen —
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| Stone village swamp man (is doing a)
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| Slow motion runhere comes the policeman:
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| Tender poke police walkerwhom the dog and the man see as:
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| Precious birthday fudgethen —
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| Swamp night (the man)
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| Bull nail (the dog — the bulldog’s claw)
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| Kill the policeman:
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| Walker done done
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| Me and Harpua
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| We couldn’t care few-a
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| It happens all the time
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| We beat Okimo
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| (Repeat Chorus)
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| Hot liquor stone jack
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| Bitter toothless flesh
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| Shabby pimple chin-slime
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| Evil milky rash
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| Me and Harpua
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| Spastic dead-eyed hound
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| Oozing dreadlock skullcap
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| We’re coming to your town
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| We’ll help you party down
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| Spoken by Trey (with asides by Fishman):
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| Once upon a time Far far away from here
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| There, in a small town…
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| A small town…
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| Small town…
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| Small…
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| And on the outskirts of this town
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| There lived a mean, nasty, furry, ugly hound named Harpua
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| Harpua roamed the outskirts of the town every day and he’d walk around looking
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| for a little action
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| So of course this day was no different from any other day and here we start the
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| story and we see Harpua walking around on the outskirts of town near the forest
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| kind of at the edge of the forest and he’s walking in toward town…
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| Harpua walked toward the town…
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| Innocently…
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| And meanwhile in the town…
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| In a whole different part of the town
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| There lived a young boy all alone in a suburban neighborhood
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| And every day he’d sit in his room
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| And sit on his little couch (AND SMOKE POT!)…
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| He’d sit on his little couch and
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| He’d listen to his stereo…
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| And he’d lay back and
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| He’d look down next to him and
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| He’d pet his favorite little (DOG!)
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| Furry little…
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| Oh, he loved his little…
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| Furry…
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| Thing that he pet every day while he listened to his stereo
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| (while sitting on the couch)
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| He’d pet his furry (thing on the couch) his furry…
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| And he looked down and he said
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| «I love to pet you, my little furry…
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| Thing that I …
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| I love you so much that I decided to name you
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| This name that I love and so I named you…
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| I love you so…
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| That’s why…
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| That’s why I pet you every day…
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| That’s why I named you…
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| That’s why when I first got you and
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| I knew how much I loved you…
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| I decided that I’d give you the name of…
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| The moniker of…
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| I’d call you…
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| Your name is…
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| I DECIDED THAT YOUR NAME WOULD HAVE TO BE…
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| I’D CALL YOU…
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| YOUR GOING TO BE CALLED…
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| I THINK YOUR NAME…
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| I CALL YOU…
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| YOU’D GO AS… AAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHHH!!!
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| POSTER NUTBAG!!!
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| Poster Nutbag sat on the couch next to Jimmy…
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| Poster Nutbag, the furry little kitty-cat Jimmy’s pet sat next to Jimmy and he
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| looked up at Jimmy…
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| And on this particular day Poster Nutbag decided to go for a little walk so
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| Poster Nutbag got up and walked toward the door and Jimmy went to the door and
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| he opened up the door and Poster Nutbag went outside and he started walking
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| across the yard.
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| And he walk onto the sidewalk and he started walking innocently down the street
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| and he walked down the street and suddenly he found himself wandering…
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| Into a new part of town that he’d never been to…
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| Let me take you to… FUNKYTOWN
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| Let me take you to… FUNKYTOWN
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| Let me take you to… FUNKYTOWN
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| Let me take you to… FUNKYTOWN
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| And when he got there he was walking along and suddenly he rounded a corner and
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| in front of him he saw…
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| He saw Harpua…
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| Harpua, the ugly dog from the beginning of the story…
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| And they looked at each other…
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| Tension filled the air…
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| There was going to be a nasty fight…
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| Harpua saw Poster Nutbag and began to growl and let a hungry drop of saliva
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| fall onto the floor…
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| Poster Nutbag coiled his body into a deadly arch…
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| The fight was about to begin…
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| ARGAAAAAAAA!
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| Look, the storm’s gone… Dad (Mike):
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| Jimmy…
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| Jimmy (Fish):
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| Yes, Dad
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| D: Jimmy, I have some bad news…
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| J: What might that be… Dad?
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| D: It’s about your cat, Poster…
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| J: You wouldn’t be talking about Poster Nutbag, now would you?
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| YOUR CAT DIED!
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| Poster is deadPoster is deadPoster’s SO dead
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| How about a goldfish? |
| I don’t want a goldfish
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| How about a goldFISH? |
| I don’t…want a goldfish
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| How about A goldfish? |
| I don’t want… a goldfish
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| What do you…
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| What do you…
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| What do you…
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| I want…
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| What do you…
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| A dog A dog
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| There’s a dog in the station
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| With an ugly mutation
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| And it needs lubrication each day
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| There’s a dog in the station
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| Contemplating rotation
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| As a form of recreation and play
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| A dog
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| There’s a dog in the station
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| With a bad reputation
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| It’s a sign of the nation’s decay
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| But the dog in the station
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| Doesn’t need a vacation
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| As the people rush by dressed in gray
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| A DOG
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| A DOG
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| A DOG! |