| Do you have a problem
|
| Would you like someone to solve them
|
| Would you like someone to share in your misery?
|
| Now, I don’t know the answer
|
| But I know a flamenco dancer
|
| Who will dance for you if you will dance for me
|
| Her name’s Miranda
|
| She’s a Rudolph Valentino fan
|
| And she doesn’t claim to understand
|
| She bakes brownies for the boys in the band
|
| Early Sunday morning
|
| When the sermon lines are forming
|
| And Saturday night is the memories that it gave
|
| She’s busy in the pantry
|
| Far away from Elmer Gantry
|
| Who is busy baking souls that he may save
|
| Everybody’s soul but Miranda
|
| She’s a Rudolph Valentino fan
|
| And she doesn’t claim to understand
|
| She bakes brownies for the boys in the band
|
| The dice of death are calling
|
| While the truck of time is falling
|
| By the thumb stuck out on the highway of the years
|
| The tollgate at the turnpike
|
| Is ignored by those who hitch-hike
|
| And the Howard Johnson food is made of fear
|
| But not Miranda
|
| She’s a Rudolph Valentino fan
|
| And she doesn’t claim to understand
|
| She bakes brownies for the boys in the band
|
| The sun burnt skin is peeling
|
| On the doctors who are healing
|
| And the license plates are laughing on the car
|
| The pain is so exciting
|
| And everyone’s inviting
|
| You to look upon their operation scars
|
| But not Miranda
|
| She’s a Rudolph Valentino fan
|
| And she doesn’t claim to understand
|
| She bakes brownies for the boys in the band
|
| The condiments are clashing
|
| While commercial planes are crashing
|
| And the music of the evening is so sweet
|
| Now fully in agreement
|
| Oh, their feet have found the cement
|
| And they all believe the signs are on the street
|
| Her name’s Miranda
|
| She’s a Rudolph Valentino fan
|
| And she doesn’t claim to understand
|
| She bakes brownies for the boys in the band
|
| In the bar we’re gin and scotching
|
| While the FBI is watching
|
| They are tape recording every other word
|
| The bartender is bleeding
|
| Pardon me, I just was leaving
|
| As another clever voice repeats absurd
|
| But not Miranda
|
| She’s a Rudolph Valentino fan
|
| And she doesn’t claim to understand
|
| She bakes brownies for the boys in the band
|
| Do you have a problem
|
| Would you like someone to solve them
|
| Would you like someone to share in your misery?
|
| Now, I don’t know the answer, but I know a flamenco dancer
|
| Who will dance for you if you will dance for me
|
| Her name’s Miranda
|
| She’s a Rudolph Valentino fan
|
| And she doesn’t claim to understand
|
| She bakes brownies for the boys in the band |