| They say that I’m too old I guess I’m coming up for nine
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| Me curly hair is getting thin — it’s all them women and wine
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| But I’m oh so ashamed
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| It’s been three weeks since I had
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| A record in the top twenty pops
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| It hurts me when I thinks as how at eight I was top of the pole
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| They screamed every time I just opened me mouth and rocked in the aisles with
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| me roll
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| Now I’m oh so ashamed
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| They all say me discs are flops
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| ‘Cos I haven’t got a record in the top twenty pops
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| I’ve tried ooh-aahs and I’ve giggled
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| I’ve rocked it and I’ve skiffled
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| I’ve sung an old song and not no-one could make out a word
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| It’s the truth!
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| I’ve clapped me hands ‘til the blood run
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| I’ve had echoes til me head spun
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| Til me head spun
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| Til me head spun
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| But they say you’re too old, too long in the tooth
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| Give us youth!
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| I’ve had me breakdown in the papers
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| Dyed me hair a luminous green
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| I’ve wobbled me hips in sexy-like capers
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| And me sideboards meet under me chin
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| But I’m oh so ashamed
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| It’s been three weeks since I had
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| A record in the top twenty pops
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| I’ve held high notes, real classy
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| Til me eyes went all glassy
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| I’ve sung a duet with meself — nearly ruptured me throat
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| I’ve tried humming and hot drumming
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| I’ve broke ten guitars with me strumming
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| But it always turns out some Charlie has done it before
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| What’s the matter with me platters, they say I should try a new kick
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| But me nerves is hanging in tatters, I’ve done me nut til I’m fair off me wick
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| And I’m oh so ashamed
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| It’s been three weeks since I had
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| A record in the top twenty pops
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| Me discs are slipping!
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| I haven’t got a record in the top twenty pops
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| Please buy this record. |
| Please! |