Lyrics Wives 1, 2 & 3 - Paul Heaton, Jacqui Abbott

Wives 1, 2 & 3

Wife #1, her confidence had gone
The pounds had piled upon those deadly thighs
As she sank into the sand and missed my outstretched hand
I could not understand her final cries
She did not feed me well
She nagged me close to hell
When faced with final bell
Why the surprise?
The women and their husbands
They are chalk and they are cheese
You cannot call it true love
Until one of you’s on your knees
The women and their husbands
They are north and they are south
Love just can’t survive unless
You learn to hush your mouth
Love just can’t survive unless
You learn to hush your mouth…
Wife #2, so loyal and so true
'Til the wind on bridge-top blew, she was mine
But when she hit that railway track, there was no going back
I watched her poor head cracked by the 8:09
She did not love me right
I caught her late at night
Asking her friend’s advice
Instead of mine
Wife #3, she fell into the sea
But I had to let her be, I could not swim
As I stood there soaking wet, my only real regret
Is I could not quite forget she slept with him
Wife #4, he loves me to the core
So I like to stay indoors and watch TV
If he mentions going out, he puts finger to my mouth
And reminds me of wives 1, 2, and 3…
Three…