Lyrics Frontman in Heaven - Okkervil River

Frontman in Heaven

I’m trying to transmute tap water into wine
Out here, somewhere in this Las Cruces motel room
The floor and ceiling vibrate, so I can barely stand
«Calm down,» says the Sky Man, «you're injured»
I dreamt last night I was halfway up the ladder to heaven
And I shot up this morning with an attitude
I charged through the city
And I wandered the streets
Trying to get answers with just my irresistible smile
Shouting, «Who will provide the celestial blueprint we need?»
Echoing voices zigzag in the night
In and around forest-view apartments
To crack a bay window and feel the fair winds
She throws back her head, and she lifts up her hands
She drives herself into an amphetamine madness
She says, «Tell me, just tell me I was right»
And she’s taken all the wrong pills
Her voice begins cracking
Her eyes open, staring at nothing
Do you get what I’m saying?
I feel my heart beating
I wonder how I couldn’t keep it from coming on
I want you so much in this wild desert heat that it’s scary
But I know I have done so much that could be construed as damage
And there’s something bad within me that makes me want to take advantage
When you’re tripped up, slipped up, blonde hair and black-lipped up
With all those silk straps 'round your ankles
I feel myself convinced we could do whatever all night
It’s high time we broke completely free of all control
Hi there!
How are you?
Well, I feel like my brain just exploded
Tell all your girlfriends I’m beautiful, I’m beautiful, I’m someone
Tell them it’s breezy and warm down here in this strange place
I will wake in the morning displaying the mark of a new man
Whose whole world has altered in front of his stupefied face
I recall when things were way more fun around here
But the Sky Man reminds me I’m almost a ghost of myself
It seems to me everything fine fell away
I’ve seen the forests burn and learned you have to arm yourself
It’s gonna be a funky fresh Christmas, and I don’t think I can handle it
When there’s so little dignity in anything
Do you feel what I feel?
And Christ, will you watch my back where I do roam?
To a room full of murderous boys with no songs of their own
I feel sick, I feel compromised all the way down
Like an eagle with all of its feathers plucked out
Can you see it in your mind?
I was inconsiderate and cold
But I can change if it’s such a big deal to you
I watch the dying sun sink on those jerk-offs in their convertibles
Went a little out of control, oh, with the boys out in the parking lot
Loneliness blinded me
Down in the peanut-shell bars
Wild, wild nights, heavy romance
There was Percodan spilled on the dancefloor
There were corpses in plain sight, and they were just walking around
And the good old boys on their leatherette want a woman who was down for
whatever
I learned to be compassionate by watching those working girls smile
Heaven was lying 'neath my feet like some wall-to-wall carpeting
And sometimes I believe that there’s actually no such thing as love
And one of these days I might not be so good to you
Can you see what I’m saying?
Come and sit where I’m sitting, oh darling
Because now I understand that it wasn’t you who held me back
There were forces beyond my control, and maybe I held myself down
All of that money, it gets so hard to stay yourself around
But girl, give me just one little chance, well, show me some trust again
I will sing your soul far away, up to a sparkling star
Where all our old friends will be waiting
Hold my hand and sigh in a soft whisper
That you don’t just care about getting what you paid for
And on the day that I finally die, well, I just might start screaming
In the one private instant I cross over that unseen line
The last remaining species of birds will be singing away
Singing goodbye to my tastes, and my face, and L. A
Goodbye to New Mexico and Texas
When I’m gone, I know there will be some things I miss
Hold me and help me remember
'Cause it’s almost time
We are born wired-up, and our heads are all flooded with messages
That get harder to pick out, except at the start and the end
And you
My weeping friend
I can’t wait to describe to you what I’ll see up there
Though I’m sure it will be an adjustment
There are voices calling me from down the hallway
There are voices that filter up through the silence
And «Calm down,» says the Sky Man, «you're raving»
So all right
Nighty-night
Nighty-night
Oh, nighty-night