| It’s kinda hard to wear high heels, or slip on banana peels
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| How does she get in and out of tubs
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| I hope she don’t get mad
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| I hope she thinks this song is good not bad
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| Cause we think that she’s totally rad, she’s Nubs
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| No fingers, no toes, she doesn’t own elbows
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| No phalanges, no knobby knees to knock
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| She don’t need knuckles or hands to go see punk rock bands
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| She’s always in the stands, she’s Nubs
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| She can’t pick up a phone, she can’t get dressed alone
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| She’s got no funny bone, she’s Nubs
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| No shoes for feet but we sure do think she’s neat
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| She’s Nubs, she’s Nubs, she’s Nubs
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| I asked her if she want a drink
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| I asked her if she liked Toronto
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| I asked her to go out to the bar
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| But all she said was no thanks, no and no
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| It was time for us to leave, so I grabbed and shook her sleeve
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| And told her I’d see her at the next club
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| She got into a pack, some guy put her on his back
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| She said goodbye and kinda waved her stub
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| She’s got beauitful eyes, and breasts regular size
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| But without calves and thighs, she’s Nubs
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| It’s hard to give good head or get tied to a bed
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| When all you’ve got is a body and head, she’s Nubs
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| She’s Nubs, she’s Nubs, she’s Nubs
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| Oh she may not walk the walk
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| And she may not like to talk
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| But boy she sure knows how to rock, she’s Nubs! |