| When I was just a young man
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| I was wandering in the rain
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| Got struck by lightning in the junk
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| Fell to the ground in pain
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| But when I woke the next morning
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| I witnessed something odd
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| My nuts were supercharged
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| With glowing power from the gods
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| They were
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| Thunder! |
| And Lightning!
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| Globes of massive strength and size
|
| Thunder! |
| And Lightning!
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| Power spheres from beyond the skies
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| Orbs of might, made of radiant light
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| Thunder! |
| And Lightning!
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| I now had a new calling
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| I was destined to fight crime
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| No man could escape the justice
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| My meaty clackers could provide
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| So I bought them a little unitard
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| And found them a tiny cape
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| Then ran to the the city’s toughest gang
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| And screamed «There's no escape!»
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| From the wrath of
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| Thunder! |
| And Lightning!
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| Jewels that fell from an angel’s crown
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| Thunder! |
| and Lightning!
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| Rounded junk that’ll take you down
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| Stones of war, tiny hammers of Thor
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| Thunder! |
| And Lightning!
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| One with the power to electrify
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| One with the strength to smash
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| First you hear that rumble baby
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| And then you see the flash!
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| My loins are filled like darkened clouds
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| Evil has no chance
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| All shall tremble before the storm
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| That gathers in my pants
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| Turns out being struck by lighting
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| Doesn’t give you any powers
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| They caved my head in with a pipe
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| And beat me for several hours
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| But as I lay there half-conscious
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| With my nuts exposed to air
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| I looked up to the blackened sky
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| And said an ancient prayer:
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| «Lord, if you’re there
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| Please infuse my nuts with the power of a thousand suns»
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| «KRA-KOOM!»
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| Holy shit, you’re real?!
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| Let there be
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| Thunder! |
| And Lightning!
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| Acorns shot from the tree of life
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| Thunder! |
| And Lightning!
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| High voltage nugs lighting up the night
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| Mighty balls gifted from Odin’s halls
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| Thunder! |
| And Lightning!
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| Suck 'em! |