| Anywhere I go, I’m gonna take you with me
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| Pennsylvania, Arkansas, Texas, and Kentucky
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| Buy a little trailer big enough for just you and me
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| Stay up watching Golden Girls and I Love Lucy
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| Cuddling in bed, I kiss and rub your belly
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| Listen to you snort and wheeze, whine in your sleep
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| Greeted with wet kisses in the early morning
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| Always fall asleep to the song of your snoring
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| And I don’t know what I did
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| Before the day I met you
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| And I don’t know what I’d do
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| If I ever lost you
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| Anywhere you go is the place I’ll call my home
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| Painting welcome signs and growing flowers in the lawn
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| Eating junk and watching trash 'til the break of the dawn
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| A gentleman you are, always take me on long walks
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| A great big appetite, I like men who know how to eat
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| Slurping the same noodle when we share spaghetti
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| Eating peanut butter, dip the spoons in the jar
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| Buy a box of donuts glazed in icing sugar
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| And I don’t know what I did
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| Before the day I met you
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| And I don’t know what I’d do
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| If I ever lost you
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| You’re the lumpiest, squishiest, fattest little thing
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| You’re the sweetest little guy, my double-chinned baby
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| You’re the only man I want and the only man I need
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| You’re the only man I dream of late at night when I sleep
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| You’re the cutest pug, the kind I spent my whole life dreaming of
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| Growing old together in a trailer park so in love |