| I am deep in the valley
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| I am covered in the shadow
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| I am wallowing in the death
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| And I reach out for You
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| I cry out for You
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| And I hear a voice inside my head
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| That sounds like me
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| And I try to reconcile
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| Rationalize with apologetics
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| In battle against my better judgment
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| Spinning the wheels of my theology
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| To deflect the answers of questions
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| I’m too afraid to ask
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| What am I to do with this?
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| Such a cognitive dissonance
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| If the truth is really what I seek
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| Then why is this so threatening?
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| My savior so real and powerful
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| Reduced to a name in a gallery
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| My god so mighty and tall
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| Was it ever even You at all?
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| My rock
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| Falling apart
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| Without You
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| What is my truth?
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| I have been striving so long to emulate Your spirit
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| Why has my greatest moral conviction come in the form of denying You?
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| The damage I have wrought I cannot erase
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| But if I seek to move forward in any sort of truth
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| I cannot move with You
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| This is where I must decide
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| Do I pursue what is holy?
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| Or do I fight for what is just
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| Here in the terror of awareness
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| I see the true direction of the path I claim to walk
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| The destination now clouded in the most lucid of fog
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| I squint my eyes to try and make out Your shape
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| I’m searching for any remnants of You
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| Tracing shadows in my mind’s eye
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| Losing Your silhouette with every detail made clear around me
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| I thought that it was You who found me in the dark
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| But now as I fumble through that same darkness
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| I feel the cracks in the land
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| But I cannot find Your hand
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| I know where this goes
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| I have always known
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| My perpetual fear
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| Now inescapable as I turn my mind south of what is sacred
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| Every point I obfuscated now cornering me against a painfully concrete wall
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| I would reject the upper hand if I could
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| But I can’t escape the truth
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| Since I could form words
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| The only words I knew to form were in exaltation of my gods
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| Gods of capital, gods of patriots, gods of the status quo
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| I saw their flags as the Shroud of Turin
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| I embedded them within my skin
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| I knew that voice in my head was You
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| I knew the bones in the mountains were proof
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| I’m crying out to you louder than ever before
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| GOD PLEASE SPEAK TO ME
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| I am left with an echo and a moment to process
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| This is it
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| This is it
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| This is it
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| To step forward is to step alone
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| The return is denial
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| There is no compromise
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| Here
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| Now
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| My gods die |