Lyrics Kuya Derrick - NAK, Derrick Engoy

Kuya Derrick

I, am confused
But maybe it was designed to be that way all along
It’s like an apple in a tree full of lemons like
David in the sea of giants
A loud bully bringing rifles to a food fight
Like a megaphone trying to disguise itself as a librarian
It’s like 1930 in Stockton
Like 1904 in St. Louis
It’s like I’m in the '80s all over again
The only Sharpie in a block full of crayons
Flip-flops in a bin full of Cortez’s
A bowl haircut in a barber shop lined up with high-top fades and Activator Juice
They say it’s 5 o’clock somewhere in the world so I’ll just sit here
Waiting for my drink
My numbing agent, my escape from all that is real
Nibble on some peanuts, maybe a banana or two
My mother always said I needed more potassium so better make that three
And since I’m a monkey anyway, might as well make that four
See, they used to call us monkeys
You know little brown one’s at that
I used to crawl along alleyways just to fit in
Was the smartest at math but always played ignorant
Secretly wanted to be a stuntman in a pursuit of career in engineering
Or nursing or engineering or nursing
Because it’s what we brown monkeys do
But I
I am more than that
I am more than brown skin, black hair
Brown eyes with a slight tilt
I am more than rice and fish
Son of immigrant parents
Island-born, mainland raised
I am stranger
Foreign land-dweller but I belong
I am here
Pioneer
Innovator, citizen, tax-paying civilian
Working just as hard as the next person
But this time I will not conform
I will not shuck and jive for your entertainment
I will not be him or her or them
I will simply be me
I will not be Christian for the sake of religion
I will not be Catholic for the sake of family
I will not put on a show so you can consume yourself into pious debt
And while we’re at it
I am Christian but I am defined more by Jesus than I am doctrine
I am also frustrated
I am frustrated by you
The place where foreigners, strangers, immigrant land-dwellers are supposed to
feel at home
The down-and-out addicts, feminist Democrats, independence
Gender abuse students, the inebriated vagrant, the scientific scholar
See, I grabbed a book off the shelf yesterday
The jacket sleeve went mysteriously missing like my identity every time I go
home
So I had no idea what the book was about
But for some reason I could tell it was strong by the spine because it had one
Unlike you
At least I could read the book for what it is
So when the pages flip me off to the next chapter, I am more intrigued than I
am mad
It’s surprise endings are honest
It’s inciting incident actually points in the direction of hope
It’s central characters are fodder for genuine growth
The Turett’s that you call political correctness is out of control
You self medicate on a world view with an agenda that silenced my voice
And your idea of free speech was re-sold at the 99-cent store
Even though there was a sticker clearly stating it wasn’t to be used for resale
I am more than a type-casted movie character
I am an IT technician, Asian American studies professor
But I am also Muslim, Buddhist, Hindu, atheist
I am a gardener, dayworker, office assistant, a police officer, firefighter,
postal worker
I am barista, epic hipster beard and all
I am teacher, senator, entrepreneur, linecook, homemaker
I am president
I am here
I am home
And we
We are here
To stay