| You told me I’m a real rat bastard
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| I’m telling you I can’t deny it’s true
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| But step inside this real rat bastard
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| You be me and I’ll be, I’ll be you
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| Since you left me I’ve been lower than a basement
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| Since you left me I have lost my only friend
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| I spit upon the womb that made me
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| I’ll curse the world until the bitter end
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| I’m proud to be a real rat bastard
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| I’m proud to wear my scar upon my sleeve
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| I’ll probably be a real rat bastard
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| Until the day that death is my reprieve
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| So love me as I wallow downward
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| Smile upon me as I stroll the avenue
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| Walk beside me as I sing my praises
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| Maybe someday you will be a bastard too…
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| We’re both the same except for you’ve got class and style
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| To get you back I’d walk at least a half a mile
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| We’re both the same except for poise and charm and grace
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| I’d slap the pope just for the chance to see your face |