| Dear Father
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| Forgive me
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| It’s been 3 minutes since my last erection
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| Make it hard
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| Make it hard
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| Make it hard
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| So hard
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| Hats off to the Catholic Church (to the Catholic Church)
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| Hats off to Mary and Jesus
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| Thanks for the guilt you gave me (guilt you gave me)
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| My conscience still enslaves me
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| If beating off’s a mortals sin
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| Then God what a mess I’m in
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| Hats off to the nun
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| Who beat up my best friend
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| Hats off to Father Friendly (to Father Friendly)
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| He’s got those hands so manly
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| He touched me in a special (special, special)
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| So special so special
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| Father friendly’s making plans
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| But God, I hope they don’t include his hands
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| Hats off to the nun who beat up my best friend
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| Make it hard
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| Make it hard
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| Hats off to corporal punishment
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| Hats off to the nun with the man hands
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| Thanks for the scar on my brother’s neck
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| Father’s tight grip choked him with sacred hands
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| God made you the judge and jury (judge and jury)
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| Brothers, sisters, don’t you worry
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| Hats off to the nun (hats off to my best friend)
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| Who beat up my best friend
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| Make it hard
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| Make it hard
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| Make it hard
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| So hard
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| (Make it hard)
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| He touched me in a special
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| (Make it hard)
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| So special, so special
|
| (Make it hard)
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| He touched me in a special
|
| (Make it hard)
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| So special, so special |