| Lazy boys and shy Diane’s |
| One at a time, single file |
| They counted the low numbers |
| As they walked by |
| I count a high number, a low number |
| Among the slow numbers |
| The number four means nothin' to me |
| But the number four means death to Chinese |
| Number seven is lucky in Japan |
| Here we don’t give a damn |
| But on the elevator, no thirteenth floor |
| On the elevator, no thirteenth floor |
| Thirteenth goin' up, goin' up, goin' up |
| Relaxin' as I wait in line |
| Some of the numbers |
| Lose their smiles |
| Specially the numbers one through nine |
| Because they’re only seatin' parties |
| Of ten or higher |
| For the dancin' the question mark sticker |
| And the mermaid kickers |
| The number four means nothin' to me |
| But the number four means death to Chinese |
| Number seven is lucky in Japan |
| Here we don’t give a damn |
| But on the elevator, no thirteenth floor |
| On the elevator, no thirteenth floor |
| Goin' up, goin' up, goin' up |