| We took turns eating cake that looked like a flag
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| And watched the fireworks and I swear I smelled the liars burn
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| Troubled aquarian doing equestrian things
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| And a hairy centaur involved in too many Ponzi schemes
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| Lay on the bathroom tile and think of Billy Mays
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| And how to make a girl smile in a myriad of silly ways
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| Listen to the Shins and learn how to sing the right notes
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| Dream of dorsal fins when manning all the lifeboats
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| Abandoned baggage in the carousel
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| I hear Paris is swell this time of year
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| I guess I’m kind of weird
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| Daydreaming of Logan’s Run then recline a gear
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| I’m fine here (I'm fine here)
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| I have very soft skin and write young adult fiction like Gary Paulsen
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| I’m Frida Kahlo
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| Your Instagram is pics of pita chips and deer tallow
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| Condense a rap song into a question, then mutter it
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| (I wrote this song in green pen)
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| Eating brownies, I don’t know why I’m frowning
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| It all happened before I could remember
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| (Pass the milk, pass the milk)
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| Run a BBW tumblr blog and forget the password
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| I may be speaking too soon but this is a disaster
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| Like old people in modern sneakers
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| I saw a Book of Mormon with a congregation of true believers
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| I’m humbled eating lemon bars
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| I would never waste a daydream on seven cars
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| I have hella smarts and nudie parts that I never show
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| I think I’m a noticeably negro Euthyphro
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| Eating brownies, I don’t know why I’m frowning
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| It all happened before I could remember
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| (Pass the milk, pass the milk)
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| (Alright, boy. There you go)
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| Hey, dude
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| You like this weird rap song?
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| It’s me, KOOL A. D
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| The other fool on the weird rap song
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| A mellow number, 3 minutes, it doesn’t last long
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| Some fools might tell you it’s whack, but I think that that’s wrong
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| Really, in fact, I think it’s tight
|
| That’s right
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| Wrote this on a carcass of a lion by lamp light
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| That was a reference to another KOOL A.D. rap line
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| The last time I said «candle light» instead of «lamp light»
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| Get it?
|
| So that’s like about progress
|
| I’m Michael Ondaatje kissing on your mom in a prom dress
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| Meaning like she’s in a prom dress, not me
|
| I guess, um, that was obvious probably
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| But shit, you never know
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| Fools cry over spilled milk and argue over whether a leather kilt is hetero
|
| In my humble, I gotta say is probably just, um, better to let it go
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| I feel like Leonard Cohen
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| And I don’t even know if I can name a Leonard Cohen track
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| Is Leonard Cohen wack?
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| That’s rhetorical, you don’t need to answer that
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| I’m Dave Bowie, I mutter question raps for the answer, man
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| Like mice, I might turn butter to milk like «catch me if you can»
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| Chris Walken how I’m talking, kriss-krossing on your walkman
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| She sucking on a dick like it’s a tall can
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| Pass the Four Loko
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| I’m a leader at last to my local folks, but still broke though
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| Fuck the Beatles, go Yoko
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| You know, bro? |