| Dey tend to say I ain’t have a sense of humour
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| But I don’t like de latest rumour
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| Of course I have a sense of humour
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| But I don’t like de latest rumour
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| People all about, are happy to say how Sparrow kick-out
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| He was in some kinda collision, poor soul
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| An' he dead, dead and gone
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| AMEN!
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| Well every half an hour, somebody ringing up
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| Until they get the news, they don' know when to stop
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| Guess who?
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| Yes I knew Sparrow, a very nice fellow
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| Whenever we met we always said hello
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| Guess who?
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| It was Simpson, de Funeral Agency Man
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| Wid he coffin in he han'
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| Simpson, de Funeral Agency Man
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| Oh yes he working in de Junction
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| Simpson!
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| Is now to hear how much money I owing
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| So much false receipt dey showing
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| People start to say how dey sorry
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| I dead and gone they ain’t get chance to sue me
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| Dis time, my family
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| Clean out a spot in de cemetery
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| They en worry because they hear Sparrow get kill
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| They wanna know which one ah dem I have in meh will
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| AMEN!
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| Somebody ring the newspaper, dey ring the radio
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| They just gotta find out if it’s really so
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| Guess who?
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| Yes I love his records and I got every one
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| And now I feel so sorry to know that he is gone
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| Guess who?
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| You mean to say you don’t know
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| Simpson the Funeral Agency Man
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| Wid he coffin in he han'
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| Simpson, oh yes de Funeral Agency Man
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| You know he working in de Junction
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| Simpson!
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| Mmm, ah fella tell me something, he may be lying
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| But he say plenty women was crying
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| Women who never talk to me yet
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| But dey crying, all their dress wet
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| Boo hoo, boo hoo, Sparrow dead now whe' we go do
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| Gimme de dagger from off the shelf
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| I might as well kill mehself
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| AMEN!
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| Yes they say they see a man by Piccadilly Street
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| With a candle in he han' and two slippers on his feet
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| Guess who?
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| Yes they say they really thought the man was out he head
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| He say he waiting for me, although he hear I dead
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| Guess who?
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| Everybody know
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| Simpson, de Funeral Agency Man
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| Wid he coffin in he hand
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| Simpson, oh yes, de Funeral Agency Man
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| Lord, he working in de Junction
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| Simpson!
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| I hear they did ah make ah big preparation
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| To head my funeral wid All-Stars steel band
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| Yes Sir’ee, decision was real quick
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| They asked the steel band men to play Sputnik
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| For the funeral, they hire All Stars
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| But for the wake was dat scamp Cyril Diaz
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| Biscuit and coffee set, dey ready to fete
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| The only disappointment is I ain’t dead yet
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| AMEN!
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| I know you really, really thought the news is on the level
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| But the man who start this rumour is as wicked as de Devil
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| Guess who?
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| Yes it’s all a joke to him, he laugh and he ain’t care
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| Wid he nose like a funnel an he mout' touchin' he ears
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| Guess who?
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| It was Melody, de ugliest Calypsonian
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| With he face like a saucepan
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| Melody, de ugliest Calypsonian
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| So ugly and 'mauvais lang'! |