| miss katie had an awful birth
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| it came out sideways with one tooth
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| and uncle barney had no skin
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| he fell into the cotton gin
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| miss katie’s dad was a modern man
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| he kept his teeth in a coffee can
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| and grandpa was a drunken soul
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| he drank moonshine from a copper bowl
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| no one knows that would ever tell
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| moon shines in the wishing well
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| miss katie married a mighty man
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| he held a chainsaw in one hand
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| she ran like hell into the corn
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| with the babe no more than three days old
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| barney roams the mansion hall
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| with the rope that he bought at the dollar store
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| it was a quiet night when he heard the rain
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| knocking at the windowpane
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| one day miss katie’s dad was gone
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| they found his clothes down by the pond
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| but she was all alone when she felt the snow
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| knocking at the attic door
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| well she hung herself in the mansion hall
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| with the rope that she got from her old grandpa
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| miss katie had an awful birth
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| it came out sideways with one tooth
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| she ran in the moonlight through the corn
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| with the babe no more than three days old
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| and uncle barney had no skin
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| when he came out of the cotton gin
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| and then he tripped on a can and then he broke his arse
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| and he crawled to the phone through the broken glass
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| he was mad
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| well if you want to know the story’s end
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| i guess you’ll just have to pretend
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| 'cause i ain’t going to tell you any more
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| 'cause uncle barney’s at the door
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| and he’s mad |