| Once that you’ve decided on a killing
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| First you make a stone of your heart
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| And if you find that your hands are still willing
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| Then you can turn a murder into art
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| There really isn’t any need for bloodshed
|
| You just do it with a little more finesse
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| If you can slip a tablet into someones coffee
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| Then it avoids an awful lot of mess
|
| 'Cause its murder by numbers, one, two, three
|
| It’s as easy to learn as your abc
|
| Murder by numbers, one, two, three
|
| It’s as easy to learn as your abc
|
| Now if you have a taste for this experience
|
| And you’re flushed with your very first success
|
| Then you must try a twosome or a threesome
|
| And you’ll find your conscience bothers you much less
|
| For murder is like anything you take to Its a habit-forming need for more and more
|
| You can bump off every member of your family
|
| And anybody else you find a bore
|
| 'Cause its murder by numbers, one, two, three
|
| It’s as easy to learn as your abc
|
| Murder by numbers, one, two, three
|
| It’s as easy to learn as your abc
|
| And you can join the ranks of the illustrious
|
| In history’s great dark hall of fame
|
| All our greatest killers were industrious
|
| At least the ones that we all know by name
|
| And you can reach the top of your profession
|
| If you become the leader of the land
|
| For murder is the sport of the elected
|
| And you don’t need to lift a finger of your hand
|
| Murder by numbers, one, two, three
|
| It’s as easy to learn as your abc
|
| Murder by numbers, one, two, three
|
| It’s as easy to learn as your a, b, c, d, e Murder by numbers, one, two, three
|
| It’s as easy to learn as your abc
|
| Murder by numbers, one, two, three
|
| It’s as easy to learn as your abc
|
| Murder by numbers, one, two, three
|
| It’s as easy to learn, just turn on your T.V. |