| With astounding grace
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| I’ll forget your face
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| Accidental she
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| Hasn’t noticed me
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| We will never be
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| I’d like to be as articulate as Mr. L
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| Writing songs about Barbara of Seville
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| Such a wonderful way with a pen, when he’s feeling unwell
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| I only sing about things that happen to me
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| I never learnt how to fill my songs with allegory
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| While my peers paid attention in English, I thought about how
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| I could undress the girl who appeared in my life with a 'pow'
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| Never mind that she slipped from my hand, because look at me now
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| Stir that dish with a spoon I found on the street
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| Every boy needs a meal that’s protein replete
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| Sometimes I would faint in the days when I didn’t eat meat
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| We soon lost count of the meals we had at your place
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| I stand and wash but the food won’t come off my face
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| A pan of plain soup and a piece of stale bread in the bowl
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| A rusty meringue and a slice of a pig on a roll
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| Oh, the things we could eat if a casserole dish had a soul
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| He fled this town for a quiet house by the sea
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| A lesser risk of a chance encounter with me
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| Does he realise that I relocated in January?
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| A curving glance from a man on Charing Cross Road
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| A signal that I will have to write my own code
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| Long ago, when I used to be friends with a boy I betrayed
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| I was evil, how dare I end up with the one that he craved
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| But it turned out alright 'cause she’s been by my side for an age |