| Ted keeps his mind set in the haze
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| Closes the blinds and sleeps for days
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| Careful, but he don’t lock the door
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| Bashful, the sloth hangs on the floor
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| Ted keeps his eyes glued to the tube
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| Born in a brain that he don’t use
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| Flies on the dishes in the sink
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| Hard thoughts that he can’t stand to think
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| What he’s waiting for, he doesn’t know
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| He hopes it finds him before he’s old
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| Inside he’s waging war
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| Because his stoner mind is so confined
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| In frozen time, the longing in his soul
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| It’s alright, you’re still young
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| You’ve got everything behind you but yourself
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| You’re playing the wrong game, son
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| Spending your days in suspended animation
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| Watching the robot-zombie die
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| Thumbing the A, B, X, and Y
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| Sony speakers sing tear the tunes
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| Listens to rap, but lives the blues
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| Catches a scent, he’s kinda ripe
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| Can’t take a shower, schedule’s tight
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| M*A*S*H at 7, Cheers at 8
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| Like everything, the bath will have to wait
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| The master biding his time
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| But it’s all he got
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| For never winding his own clock
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| If every call is declined
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| Then I suppose the guy you so resign
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| That no one tries to reach him while he rots |