| Brew the coffee in a bucket
|
| Double straight man and banjo
|
| If you don’t got the snake oil
|
| Buster, you don’t got a show
|
| Who puts the do re me in our pockets
|
| Keeps the party goin' on?
|
| It’s the man who sells the potions
|
| I’m just the one who plays the songs
|
| Now they generally buys
|
| The bigger size
|
| They usually rub it in
|
| I drank it once, it tasted
|
| Like grease and paraffin
|
| It’s mostly alcohol, okay
|
| You can’t deny it’s strong
|
| We was goin' through the motions
|
| 'Til the doctor came along
|
| There stands the bottle
|
| Ladies and gentlemen
|
| All these bottles
|
| Don’t have to tell you, friends
|
| These days miracles
|
| Don’t come fallin' from the sky
|
| Raise your glasses to the doctor
|
| To a stand up guy
|
| When the monkey shine is flyin'
|
| And he’s promisin' the cure
|
| He says the French for your lovesick blues
|
| La maladie d’amour
|
| He gets the chumps all laughin'
|
| But he gets a few to buy
|
| Here’s a beefsteak when you’re hungry
|
| And whiskey when you’re dry
|
| Now the band’ll blow their moolah
|
| Like sailors gone ashore
|
| Now we’re goin' to West Helena
|
| To gamble, drink and whore
|
| Let’s you and me all make whoopee
|
| Here’s mud in your eye
|
| Here’s to all the gals he ever want
|
| And Heaven when you die
|
| There’s a big cheese with a cigar
|
| Been sizin' up the show
|
| He wants to get the doctor
|
| Pitchin' on the radio
|
| I will make a switch to guitar
|
| But the rules all still apply
|
| They want to trust somebody
|
| Yeah, they want a stand up guy
|
| There stands the bottle
|
| Here’s to absent friends
|
| All these bottles
|
| Dead soldiers in the end
|
| These days miracles
|
| Don’t come falling from the sky
|
| Raise your glasses to the doctor
|
| To a stand up guy
|
| To the doctor
|
| A stand up guy |