| I watch re-runs of the Jersey Shore
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| Snooki drank too much, now she’s on the floor
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| It’s a feeling that I’ve felt before
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| Though it was not televised
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| I don’t mind, I don’t get upset
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| And you’re watching me while I’m watching it
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| I’m just curious I’m a scientist
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| But you think that I’m depressed
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| I watch reality TV
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| Just look at what it’s done to me
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| I can’t believe that nothing means
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| Not half of what it did
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| I don’t mind, I don’t get upset
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| But I haven’t left my bedroom yet
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| And getting dressed was an accomplishment
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| So you win, you win, you win
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| You win, you win
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| Don’t tell me where you’ve been
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| Don’t tell me what you did
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| When you were gone
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| Me, I guess I’m still something of an amateur
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| You’d think that I would know by now
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| Season 8 and I ain’t figured it out
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| So, on film I keep getting my feelings hurt
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| Or saying things you don’t deserve
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| Or imprinting on you like a werewolf in love
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| I did, you don’t get my references
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| What if I met someone who did
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| Did it all sound better in your head
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| That movie was so offensive but it got me through November
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| Even though I will swear up and down that I wish that I knew better
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| I wish I did
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| Don’t tell me where you’ve been
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| Don’t tell me what you did
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| When you were gone
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| When it gets so bad that it’s almost good
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| I’ll move to San Francisco or Hollywood
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| I won’t write you like you wish I would
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| But I’ll miss you all the same
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| You won’t mind, you won’t get upset
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| Once you change, all you want is the audience
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| They are obviously all narcissists
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| Me, I just love turning off my brain
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| One big escape
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| Don’t tell me at all
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| (don't tell me where you’ve been)
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| I don’t want to know
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| (don't tell me what you did)
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| I’ll just watch it over and over on the show |