| Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking
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| We hope you’re enjoying Eastern’s flight 37
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| Non-stop from New York to Miami Beach
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| We’re right on schedule, however, we do expect a little turbulence up ahead so
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| we advise you to keep your seat belts fastened and just in case you should
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| experience some discomfort, I am going to turn you over this time to our fine
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| group of cabin attendants
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| Girls?
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| Ladies and gentlemen, you will find located in the seat pocket directly in
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| front of you an air sickness bag
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| In the event of sickness brought on by air turbulence, simply open the bag,
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| place your mouth directly over the opening, and vomit, like so;
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| Then seal the bag and push the overhead button to summon a cabin attendant for
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| disposal
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| If there is anything else we can do to make your flight more pleaseant, please,
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| don’t hesitate t-
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| Don’t move lady! |
| this is a gun in your back
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| Ok everybody, sit down, this is a hijack (a hijack!)
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| Alright, nobody moves and nobody gets hurt
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| Never again! |
| (x2)
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| Ok, I’m warning you!
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| Never again!
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| Enough!
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| Never again!
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| I’m going to shoot!
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| Never again!
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| I’m going to shoot, i’m going to do it!
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| Never again!
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| The crazy bastard shot himself!
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| Why call from far away?
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| If you don’t listen |