| Well old Mr. Johnson
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| had troubles all his own
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| He had an old yellow cat
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| that wouldn’t leave home
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| Tried everything he knew to do to get the cat to stay away
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| Even took him up to Canada
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| and told him for to stay
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| Chorus:
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| But the cat came back, the very next day,
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| Thought he was a goner, but the cat came back
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| `Cause he wouldn’t stay away
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| Well they give a boy a dollar
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| for to set the cat afloat
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| And he took him up the river
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| in a sack and a boat
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| Well the fishin' it was fine
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| till the news got around
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| That the boat was missing
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| and the boy was drowned…
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| Chorus:
|
| Well the farmer on the corner
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| said he’d shoot him on sight
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| And he loaded up his gun
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| full of rocks and dynamite
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| The gun went off,
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| heard all over town
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| Little pieces of the man
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| was all that they found…
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| Chorus:
|
| Well they finally found a way
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| this cat for to fix
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| They put him in an orange crate
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| on Route 66
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| Come a ten ton truck
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| with a twenty ton load
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| Scattered pieces of the orange crate
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| all down the road…
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| Chorus:
|
| Now they gave him to a man
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| going up in the balloon
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| And they told him for to leave him
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| with the man in the moon
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| Well the balloon got busted,
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| back to earth it head,
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| And seven miles away
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| they picked the man up dead…
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| Chorus:
|
| Well they took him to the shop
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| where the meat was ground
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| And they dropped him in the hopper
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| when the butcher wasn’t 'round
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| Well the cat disappeared
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| with a blood-curdling shriek
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| And the town’s meat
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| tasted furry for a week…
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| Chorus:
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| Well, they took him to Cape Canaveral
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| and they put him in a place
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| Shot him in a U.S. rocket
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| going way out in space
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| Well they finally thought the cat
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| was out a' human reach
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| Next day they got a call
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| from Miami Beach and…
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| Chorus: |