| Goodnight to all you late night TV watchers
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| And let me say good morning to you all
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| At the sound of my voice through this microphone line
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| Consider that your wake up call
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| My name is Billy R. Burroughs
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| I’m not the man you think I am
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| Some mistake me for a writer
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| Some mistake me for another network man
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| I am the guy who has just hijacked this channel
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| This telecast is now under my control
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| And now that I have the chance to say what’s on my mind
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| Let me tell you tales untold
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| For 30 years I’ve worked here at this TV station
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| In an editing room no one has ever seen
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| Inserting laughter after every punchline
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| And gasping after every scream
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| But now I want you to give me back
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| The years that I have wasted
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| Staring at these television screens
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| And now that I have your attention
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| Let me show you what I mean
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| Because I remember back when I was in high school
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| I never thought I’d stoop so low
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| I thought I’d be the guy on unmasking the clown
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| Not the guy out polishing his nose
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| So tomorrow on your way into work
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| Who will be wearing the emperor’s clothes?
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| Watch the show |