Lyrics Breaking Rules - Lucky Boys Confusion

Breaking Rules

Touched down on a southwest runway
Time collides
Shipments that never came
I drank enough
To almost feel at home right here
But not enough to make me disappear
Breaking rules and breaking down
Never thought twice about it
Pushing drugs and skipping town
Now we just talk about it
What if we never even make it back?
I don’t have the answer
I dropped the ball, we lost our only chance to have luck on our side
Revolving doors
Kept the neighbors up and talking
Unsettled scores
Face offs that never came
I thought a lot
This is not a life I can defend
And after this how could I face my friends
Seconds burned
Throat dry I swallowed my pride and.
Lesson learned
I looked hard and I’m to blame
Fuck it all
Repressing thoughts of suicide
A part of me three years I’ve had to hide