| Hello Dan, it’s Joe here
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| I hope you’re keeping well
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| It’s the 21st of December
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| Now they’re ringing the last bell
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| If I get good behaviour
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| I’ll be out of here by July
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| Won’t you kiss my kids on Christmas day
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| Please don’t let them cry for me
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| Brothers driving down from Queensland
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| Stella’s flying in from the coast
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| They say it’s gonna be a hundred degrees or more
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| But that won’t stop the roast
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| Who’s gonna make the gravy now?
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| I bet it won’t taste the same
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| Just add flour, salt, a little red wine
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| And don’t forget tomato sauce
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| For sweetness and that tang
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| Give my love to Angus and to Frank and Dolly
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| Tell 'em all I’m sorry I screwed up this time
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| Look after Rita, I’ll be thinking of her
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| Early Christmas morning when I’m standing in line
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| I hear Mary’s got a new boyfriend
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| I hope he can hold his own
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| Do you remember the last one? |
| What was his name again?
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| Just a little too much cologne
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| And Roger, I’m gonna miss Roger
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| There’s no one here I want to fight
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| Praise the Baby Jesus, have a Merry Christmas
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| I’m really gonna miss it, all the treasure and the trash |
| Later in the evening, I can just imagine
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| You’ll put on The Smithies and push the tables back
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| And you’ll dance with Rita, I know you really like her
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| Just don’t hold her too close, please don’t stab me in the back
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| I didn’t mean to say that, it’s just my mind it plays up
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| Multiplies each matter, turns imagination into fact
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| You know I love her badly, she’s the one to save me
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| I’m gonna make some gravy, I’m gonna taste the fat
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| Tell her that I’m sorry, yeah I love her badly
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| Tell 'em all I’m sorry, kiss the sleepy children for me
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| You know one of these days, I’ll be making gravy
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| I’ll be making plenty, I’m gonna pay 'em all back
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| You know one of these days, I’ll be making gravy
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| I’ll be making plenty, I’m gonna pay 'em all back |