| I wasn’t taught how to get a job
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| But I can remember dissecting a frog
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| I wasn’t taught how to pay tax
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| But I know loads about Shakespeare’s classics
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| I was never taught how to vote
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| They devoted that time to defining isotopes
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| I wasn’t taught how to look after my health
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| But mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell
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| Never spent a lesson on current events
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| Instead I studied The Old American West
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| I was never taught what laws there are
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| I was never taught what laws there are
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| Let me repeat—I was not taught the laws for the country I live in
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| But I know how Henry the VIII killed his women
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| Divorced beheaded died, divorced beheaded survived
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| Glad that’s in my head instead of financial advice
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| I was shown the wavelengths of different hues of light
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| But I was never taught my human rights
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| Apparently there’s thirty, do you know them? |
| I don’t
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| Why the hell can’t we both recite them by rote?
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| I know igneous, metamorphic and sedimentary rocks
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| Yet I don’t know squat about trading stocks
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| Or how money works at all—where does it come from?
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| How does the thing that motivates the world function?
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| Not taught to budget and disperse my earnings
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| I was too busy there rehearsing cursive
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| Didn’t learn how much it costs to raise a kid or what an affidavit is
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| But I spent days on what the quadratic equation is:
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| Negative b plus or minus the square root of b squared
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| Minus 4ac over 2a
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| That’s insane, that’s absolutely insane
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| They made me learn that over basic first aid
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| Or how to recognize the most deadly mental disorders
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| Or diseases with preventable causes
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| Or how to buy a house with a mortgage
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| If I could afford it 'cause abstract maths was deemed more important
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| Than advice that would literally save thousands of lives
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| But it’s cool, 'cause now I could tell you if the number of unnecessary deaths
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| caused by that choice was prime
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| Never taught present-day practical medicines
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| But I was told what the ancient Hippocratic method is
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| «I've got a headache, the pain is ceaseless
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| What should I take?»
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| Um… maybe try some leeches?
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| «Could we discuss domestic abuse and get the facts
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| Or how to help my depressed friend with their mental state?»
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| Um… no, but learn mental maths
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| Because «you won’t have a calculator with you every day!»
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| They say it’s not the kids, the parents are the problem
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| Then if you taught the kids to parent that’s the problem solved then!
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| All this advice about using a condom
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| But none for when you actually have a kid when you want one
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| I’m only fluent in this language, for serious?
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| The rest of the world speaks two, do you think I’m an idiot?
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| They chose the solar over the political system
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| So like a typical citizen now I don’t know what I’m voting on
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| Which policies exist, or how to make them change
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| Mais oui, je parle un peu de Francais
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| So at 18, I was expected to elect a representative
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| For a system I had never ever ever been presented with
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| But I won’t take it
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| I’ll tell everyone my childhood was wasted
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| I’ll share it everywhere how I was «educated»
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| And insist these pointless things don’t stay in school |