| Every night, I don’t remember
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| But I’d rather burn out than get burnt by a soul
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| I don’t even really know
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| I don’t even really know
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| It’s all been a blur, yeah
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| Looking but I can’t find
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| And I hear you but I can’t see you here, yeah
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| I think I’m losing my mind
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| And no, no, I’m lost in the cure, yeah, yeah (Cure, yeah, yeah)
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| Looking but I can’t find
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| I hear you but I can’t see you here, yeah
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| I think I’m losing my mind
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| And no, no, it’s all been a blur, yeah
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| Oh-woah, oh-woah, it’s all been a blur
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| Oh, oh, oh, oh
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| Oh-woah, oh-woah, it’s all been a blur (Yeah)
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| Oh, oh, oh, oh
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| I’m from the same place they made Lego hearts
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| But there’s no love, love’ll get you killed
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| A kill’ll get you loved, that’s the circle of life
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| Circle the block before we certain to light
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| Burning the pot, poppin' prescriptions just to feel a little number
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| Rolling deeper 'cause it’s hotter in the summer
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| Smelling like potency with a pocket full of hunnids
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| Young kids did dumb things for the fuck of it
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| Yeah, I used to trap but I stopped
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| I ain’t tryna get snatched by the cops, they already wildin'
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| So we be moving low like a semicolon
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| With some white girls, but I bet that them Kellys rolling
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| Shit, they just all love the buzz
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| I ain’t tryna get caught up with drugs, I already did
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| But that shit is common where we grew from
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| Too many kids died way too young
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| I used to watch the homies flip pills, pop 'em and tell me
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| «Yo, these shits kill, don’t ever take 'em», but I did
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| We was in the crib, levitating, facing death
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| But we hesitating for the thrills, yeah
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| I can’t even feel no more
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| I don’t even know what’s real no more, man, its hard to tell
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| Pardon the smell, that’s teen spirit
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| If you want a high, you should probably just breathe near it
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| It’s too potent
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| It’s all been a blur, yeah
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| Looking but I can’t find
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| I hear you but I can’t see you here, yeah
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| I think I’m losing my mind
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| And no, no, I’m lost in the cure, yeah, yeah (Woah-woah, oh-woah,
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| it’s all been a blur)
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| Looking but I can’t find (Oh, oh, oh, oh)
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| I hear you but I can’t see you here, yeah (Oh-woah, oh-woah)
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| Think I’m losing my mind (Oh, oh, oh, oh)
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| And no, no, it’s all been a blur, yeah
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| (Painkiller Paradise, Staten Island)
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| (20 pill a habit, cats are wildin)
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| (Painkiller paradise, Staten Island)
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| (20 pill a habit, cats are wildin)
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| (And no, no, I’m lost in the cure, yeah, yeah)
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| Hoo, hoo
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| Hoo
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| Hoo, hoo, hoo
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| Birthdays start to mean less and less with the older I get
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| But I’ve been 40 years old since I was like ten so it ain’t nothing to me
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| And fuck modest, I’m the hottest up in my fucking city
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| They know I be dumbin', ain’t nobody close that’s fucking with me
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| I used to eat people’s scraps when they wasn’t looking
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| Sleeping at friends' houses just to sneak up in they kitchen
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| And now I’m tryna figure out where these couple stacks went
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| They passed the J and said, «Try it»
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| I been fucking smacked since
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| I don’t move was past-tense
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| Fast forward, they ain’t near Lou
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| I don’t look in the rear view, if I die I’ma crash forward
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| 'Cause the girl I love don’t feel the same
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| But I can’t even feel no pain
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| No more, I been numb to shit since I was like a fucking kid
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| Painkiller Paradise raised me, I was just bound to go crazy
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| Wanted to bounce and never come back to this shit
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| Left and realized nowhere else could capture the feeling
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| Of having your back to the wall and still be attached to the ceiling
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| Everyone I know’s a pothead
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| Poppin' prescriptions like Xanax
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| All of these drugs that’s around me, how could I not be a manic?
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| How could I not be in panic?
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| Paranoia had found me when I was high as fuck
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| Tryna figure out something to ground me
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| So move the fuck from around me, I don’t trust nobody
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| I gave my heart to them and never got it back, I gotta snap
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| I heard a lot of raps and a lot of wack shit, I let it rock
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| Now I’m finna' pop
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| Bitch I’m top 10 dead alive
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| I’m really never home, I’m always on the go
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| And If I’m not, then I’m always in the zone
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| I got some shit at Matt’s crib I’ll probably never wear
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| Couldn’t fit packing
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| I live in different cities like a catfish
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| I gave my life to rap, I can’t get it back |
| All this time I spend, I went missing, it’s not ticking back
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| Wish I picked a different path
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| I overthink for a hobby
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| The staff hate us, spilling drinks while we stink in the lobby
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| You hit me right when I drop, man
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| You making it obvious what your motives are
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| I been tryna to cope with stardom, promise I’ll be known a martyr
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| I got a lot of sons, I should check up on more
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| But fuck all y’all
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| I’m screaming out «Who want war?»
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| Fuck an empty threat
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| You was off since the day we met
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| Mad because you lost a queen
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| Boy, I’m playing mental chess
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| And the sad thing is, we did a couple songs
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| I fuck with you, dawg, I still got love for you you, dawg
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| But love’ll kill you, so I’m mindful of who I say «I feel you» to
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| I don’t feel you dudes, I feel you food
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| I mean I’ll steal your food right up off your dish
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| I mean your mouths full, you was always talking shit
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| But nevermind that
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| You tryna find Rack, I’m tryna' find stacks
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| And fast, 'cause I know I cannot buy the time back
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| I’m tryna buy my mom a house I couldn’t buy dad
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| Voices in my head, I’m either crazy or it’s my dad
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| Having dreams about Cobain and Mike Jack
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| Asking me how I write raps, I just tell 'em I type facts, yeah
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| My dad was type black
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| And my mom is type white so the gray’s where I’m at
|
| Real growth comes from losing your mind
|
| Fuck other people’s definition of what’s wrong and what’s right
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| I was 11 years old and all I wanted to do was just write
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| And teachers told me it’s wrong
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| I guess I’m wrong, it’s aight
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| In the dark, I’m the light
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| We be sparking at night
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| Don’t believe what you saying, man, you was hardly the type
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| You make songs for the hype, I make songs of my life
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| My hearts on the sleeve of a shirt I haven’t worn in a while
|
| And y’all all in denial, yeah
|
| Old rappers, I’m pushing the culture forward
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| You wanna just go backwards
|
| Lil' dough got you all backwards
|
| Money can’t change me
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| Never home till I go crazy, bitch |