| Never bet the devil your head
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| When I was an infant
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| My mother treated me like a tough steak
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| To her well regulated mind
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| Babies were the better for beatings
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| But she was left handed
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| And a child flogged left handed
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| Is better left unflogged
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| The world revolves from right to left
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| It will not do to whip a baby from left to right
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| If each blow in the right direction
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| Drives an evil propensity out
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| A blow in the opposite direction
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| Knocks it’s quota of wickedness in
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| Hence my precocity in vice
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| My sensitivity to injuries
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| The thousands of injuries heaped upon me by Fortunato
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| And then finally his rabid insults for which I vowed revenge
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| I gave no utterance to threat
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| But the knowledge of «avengemenship»
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| Was so definite so precise
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| That no risk could befall me
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| By neither word
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| Nor deed had I given cause to doubt my good will
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| I would punish with impunity
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| I will fuck him up the ass and piss in his face
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| I will redress the wrong
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| But lips and psyche
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| Mind be silent
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| Fortunato approaches
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| Don’t take me to task
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| For loving a cask
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| The cask of Amontillado
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| Please don’t make a pass
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| You can go kiss my ass
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| All I want is this mythical cask
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| The cask of Amontillado
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| I’ve heard so much through the grapevine
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| I’ve heard so much on the line
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| But the one thing that I lust after
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| Is the one thing I’ve never had
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| So is it too much to ask
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| Too have just one taste of the cask
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| Why you could go kiss my ass for the cask
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| Of Amontillado
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| Edgar old fellow
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| Dear bosom friend
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| Hail fellow well met
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| Oh great elucidator
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| Great epopee
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| Haha.
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| Fortunato what luck to meet you
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| What good good luck to meet
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| You and see you looking so splendid
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| I have received a cask of Amontillado
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| Or what passes
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| For Amontillado
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| Amontillado
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| That most wondrous sherry
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| A cask
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| Impossible
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| How
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| So rare
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| I’ve had my doubts
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| I was silly enough to pay the full price
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| Without consulting you in the matter
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| But you were not to be found
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| And I was fearful of losing a bargain
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| Fearfully stupid if you ask me Edgar
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| I am on my way to see Mr. Bolo
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| A cask
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| A cask
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| To gather his opinion
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| Are you engaged
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| Mr. Bolo cannot tell Amontillado from goat’s milk
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| Yet some say his taste is a match for your own
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| Hardly, dear boy
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| Let us go
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| Where
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| To your vaults to the supposed Amontillado
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| Oh my good friend no
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| I could not impose upon your good nature
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| You have, after all, an engagement
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| To hell with the engagement
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| I have no engagement
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| Before the sky withers and falls let us go
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| But the vaults are damp
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| And I see you are afflicted with a severe cold
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| Oh let us go
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| The cold is nothing
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| You’ve been taken advantage of
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| And Mr. Bolo cannot tell Amontillado from piss
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| The cask
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| It is farther on
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| But see the white web work
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| Which gleams from these cavern walls
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| Nitre
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| Nitre
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| How long have you had that cough
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| Yes, nitre
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| It is nothing
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| We should go back
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| Your health is precious
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| You are a man who would be missed
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| Let’s return
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| I cannot be responsible for causing you ill health
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| And anyway there’s always Mr. Bolo
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| Oh be dumb I’ll not be swayed
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| The cough is nothing
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| It will not kill me
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| I won’t die of a cough
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| Of that you can be sure
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| Have some of this Medoc to warm the bones
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| And defend you from this infernal dampness
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| Drink
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| Drink damn you
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| I drink to the buried that repose around us
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| And I to your long life
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| The nitre
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| It hangs like moss
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| We are below the river’s bed
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| The moisture trickles, chills the bones
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| Let’s go back
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| Your cough
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| The cough is nothing
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| But …
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| Let us proceed to the Amontillado
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| So proceed
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| Herein the Amontillado
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| Now Mr. Bolo
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| Mr. Bolo is an imbecile
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| An ignoramus
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| Can you not feel the nitre
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| You really should go
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| I implore you
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| No
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| Then I must leave you here
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| But first
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| Let me render you all the little attentions within my power
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| The Amontillado
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| Hahahaha.
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| A very good joke indeed, haha.
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| We will have many a rich laugh about it
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| Over our wine in the palazzo
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| The Amontillado
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| Yes, yes yes
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| The Amontillado
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| Well
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| Then let’s go
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| For, for the love of God
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| Precisely
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| For the love of God
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| Fortunato
|
| Fortunato |