| It might be great to have a kid that I could kick around
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| a little me to fill up with thoughts
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| A little me or he or she to fill up with my dreams
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| a way of saying life is not a loss
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| I’d keep the tyke away from school
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| and tutor him myself
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| keep him from the poison of the crowd
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| But then again pristine isolation
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| might not be the best idea
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| It’s not good trying to immortalize yourself
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| Why stop at one, I might have ten, a regular TV brood
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| I’d breed a little liberal army in the woods
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| Just like these redneck lunatics
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| I see at the local bar
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| with their tribe of mutant inbred piglets with cloven hooves
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| I’d teach them how to plant a bomb, start a fire, play guitar
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| and if they catch a hunter, shoot him in the nuts
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| I’d try to be as progressive as I could possibly be as long as I didn’t have to try too much
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| Susie, Jesus, Bogart, Sam
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| Leslie, Jill and Jeff
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| Rita, Winny, Andy, Fran and Jet
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| Boris, Bono, Lucy, Ethel
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| Bunny, Reg and Tom
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| that’s a lot of names to try not to forget
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| Carrier, Marlon, Mo and Steve
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| La Rue and Jerry Lee
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| Eggplant, Rufus, Dummy, Star and The Glob
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| I’d need a damn computer to keep track of all these names
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| I hope this baby thing don’t go too far
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| Hey I hope it’s true what my wife said to me She says, baby, it’s the Beginning of a Great Adventure
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| It might be fun to have a kid that I could kick around
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| create in my own image like a god
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| I’d raise my own pallbearers to carry me to my grave
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| and keep me company when I’m a wizened toothless clod
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| Some gibbering old fool sitting all alone
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| drooling on his shirt
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| some senile old fart playing in the dirt
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| It might be fun to have a kid I could pass something on to something better than rage, pain, anger and hurt
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| I hope it’s true what my wife said to me She says Lou, it’s the Beginning of a Great Adventure |