| When I think of you Baton Rouge
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| I think of a Mariachi band
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| I think of sixteen and a crisp green football field
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| I think of a girl I never had
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| When I think of you Baton Rouge
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| I think of a back seat in a car
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| Windows are foggy and so are we
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| As the police asked for our I. D
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| So helpless
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| So helpless
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| Ooohhh, ooohhh, so helpless
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| Ooohhh, so helpless
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| Ooohhh, so helpless
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| So helpless
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| Well I once had a car lost it in a divorce
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| The judge was a woman of course
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| She said give her the car and the house and your taste
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| Or else I set the trial date
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| So now when I think of you Baton Rouge
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| And the deep southern belles with their touch
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| I wonder where love ends and hate starts to blush
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| In the fields in the swamps in the rush
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| In the terra-cotta cobwebs of your mind
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| When did you start seeing me as a spider spinning web
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| Of malicious intent and you as poor, poor me
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| At the fire at the joint, this disinterred and broken mount
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| In the bedroom in the house where we were unmarried
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| So helpless, so helpless
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| So helpless
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| So helpless, so helpless
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| So helpless
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| When was I the villain in your heart
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| Putting the brake on your start
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| You slapped my face and cried and screamed
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| That’s what marriage came to mean
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| The bitterest ending of a dream
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| You wanted children and I did not
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| Was that what it was all about
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| You might get a laugh when you hear me shout
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| You might get a laugh when you hear me shout
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| I wish I had
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| So helpless, so helpless
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| So helpless
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| So helpless, so helpless
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| So helpless
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| Sometimes when I think of Baton Rouge
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| I see us with two and a half strapping sons
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| One and a half flushed daughters preparing to marry
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| And two fat grandsons I can barely carry
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| Daddy, uncle, family gathered there for grace
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| A dog in a barbecue pit goes up in space
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| The dream recedes in the morning with a bad aftertaste
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| And I’m back in the big city worn from the race of the chase
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| What a waste
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| So thanks for the card the announcement of child
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| And I must say you and Sam look great
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| Your daughter’s gleaming in that —
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| — white wedding dress with pride
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| Sad to say I could never bring that to you that wide smile
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| So I try not to think of Baton Rouge
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| Or of a, of a, of a Mariachi band
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| Or of sixteen and a crisp green football field
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| And the girl, and the girl I never had
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| So helpless, so helpless
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| So helpless
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| So helpless, so helpless
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| So helpless |