| Oh, oh, deary me,
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| My little brother’s in his bedroom smoking weed,
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| I tell him he should get up 'cause it’s nearly half past three
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| He can’t be bothered 'cause he’s high on THC.
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| I ask him very nicely if he’d like a cup of tea,
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| I can’t even see him 'cause his room is so smoky,
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| Don’t understand how one can watch so much TV,
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| My baby brother Alfie, how I wish that you could see.
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| I only say it 'cause I care,
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| So please can you stop pulling my hair.
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| Now, now there’s no need to swear,
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| Please don’t despair, my dear mon frère.
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| Oh, Alfie, get up. |
| It’s a brand new day,
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| I just can’t sit back and watch you waste your life away
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| You need to get a job because the bills need to get paid.
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| Get off your lazy axs,
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| Alfie please use your brain
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| Surely there’s some walls out there that you can go and spray,
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| I’m feeling guilty for leading you astray,
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| Now how the hell do you ever expect that you’ll get laid,
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| When all you do is stay and play on your computer games?
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| I only say it 'cause I care,
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| So please can you stop pulling my hair.
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| Now, now there’s no need to swear,
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| Please don’t despair, my dear mon frère.
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| Oh, little brother, please refrain from doing that,
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| I’m trying to help you out so can you stop being a twat.
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| It’s time that you and I sat down and had a little chat,
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| And look me in the eyes. |
| Take off that stupid fitted cap.
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| I only say it 'cause I care,
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| So please can you stop pulling my hair.
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| Now, now there’s no need to swear,
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| Please don’t despair
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| Please don’t despair, my mon frère |