| She was sweet sixteen
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| Baby beauty queen
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| Straight white teeth
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| Bathed in beauty cream
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| Priss don’t drink and priss don’t smoke
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| Shit don’t stink and don’t take jokes
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| Botoxed in bobby socks
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| Cold as ice
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| All the boys where like white on rice
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| The end result is still the same
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| You can’t go back the way you came
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| Drink on mint juleps on the tennis court
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| The wealthy widow wanted more than sport
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| The tennis pro thought it was inappropriate
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| The wealthy widow thought that they should go for it
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| She giggled, pickled
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| Tanned as leather
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| Sacks of sand in her cashmere sweater
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| Oh Madame, the way you waste my time
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| It’s so divine
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| Kissing the concrete you’d swear it was skin
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| Her manicure secretes original sin
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| Oh Madame, your taste for steak and wine
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| Serves to impress me
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| You’re so vain, I bet you don’t think this song is about you
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| Profane Jane
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| (You can’t go back the way you came
|
| The end result is still the same)
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| You’re so vain, you probably don’t think this song is about you
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| Champagne Jane
|
| (You can’t go back the way you came
|
| The end result is still the same)
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| So many eager sinners
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| Only seven deadly sins
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| Hell’s so goddamn crowded
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| That there’s no one getting in
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| The line goes to the river Styx
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| But she can get you in
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| It was work but the work was fun
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| What will they say when they see what we done?
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| What will they say when they see what we do?
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| One of us has got to go
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| One of us has got to cum
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| Bury me in mistletoe
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| Put a dollar on my tongue
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| You’re so vain
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| You’re so vain |