| You know I love that organic cooking
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| I always ask for more
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| And they call me Mr. Natural
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| On down to the health food store
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| I only eat good sea salt
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| White sugar dont touch my lips
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| And my friends is always
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| Begging me to take them
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| On macrobiotic trips
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| Yes, they are
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| Oh, but at night I take out my strongbox
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| That I keep under lock and key
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| And I take it off to my closet
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| Where nobody else can see
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| I open that door so slowly
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| Take a peek up north and south
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| Then I pull out a Hostess Twinkie
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| And I pop it in my mouth
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| Yeah, in the daytime I’m Mr. Natural
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| Just as healthy as I can be
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| But at night I’m a junk food junkie
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| Good Lord have pity on me
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| Well, at lunchtime
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| You can always find me
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| At the Whole Earth Vitamin Bar
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| Just sucking on my plain white yogurt
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| From my hand thrown pottery jar
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| And sippin' a little hand pressed cider
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| With a carrot stick for dessert
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| And wiping my face in a natural way
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| On the sleeve of my peasant shirt
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| Oh, yeah
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| Ah, but when that clock strikes midnight
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| And I’m all by myself
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| I work that combination
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| On my secret hideaway shelf
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| And I pull out some Fritos corn chips
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| Dr. Pepper and an Ole Moon Pie
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| Then I sit back in glorious expectation
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| Of a genuine junk food high
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| Oh yeah, in the daytime I’m Mr. Natural
|
| Just as healthy as I can be
|
| But at night I’m a junk food junkie
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| Good Lord have pity on me
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| My friends down at the commune
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| They think I’m pretty neat
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| Oh, I don’t know nothing about arts and crafts
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| But I give 'em all something to eat
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| I’m a friend to old Euell Gibbons
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| And I only eat homegrown spice
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| I got a John Keats autographed Grecian urn
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| Filled up with my brown rice
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| Yes, I do
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| Oh, but folks lately I have been spotted
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| With a Big Mac on my breath
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| Stumbling into a Colonel Sanders
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| With a face as white as death
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| I’m afraid someday they’ll find me
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| Just stretched out on my bed
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| With a handful of Pringles Potato Chips
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| And a Ding Dong by my head
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| In the daytime I’m Mr. Natural
|
| Just as healthy as I can be
|
| But at night I’m a junk food junkie
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| Good Lord have pity on me |