Lyrics #1 Fan - Kj-52, Jubilee

#1 Fan

Yo this is what happened:
Yo I woke up late it was like 10 in the mornin'
I was still half asleep and sleepy eyed, still yawnin'
I checked my voice mail to see who’d been callin'
I turned on my computer
Check my email logged on it
Junk mail, junk mail dog-gone-it
Everybody just tryin to sell me they product
But there was one email that just caught my optic
It said sucidal, took the mouse and clicked on it
She said «Dear KJ you don’t know who I am,
You probably don’t care cause im just another fan.
I doubt you ever read this, now but if ya can
Sometimes I slash my wrists and even cut my hands
And I feel all alone like nobody understands
And I’m gonna end it tonight I got the whole thing planned
Pop pills, leave a note on my night stand
Signed sincerely, Your Number 1 fan
Can someone now please help me
Will someone now just please help me
Can someone now please help me
Will someone now just please help me
My heart is poundin as I start to type back
Why do you feel this way do you mind if I ask?
Whats the source and the cause of the pain that you have
How did you get this way, is it something from the past
God cares about you, I hope you understand that
Please don’t end your life, I beg ya please write back
I finished typin', I sent the email quite fast
I bowed my head and prayed with all the strength that I had
She said «Man KJ I didn’t even know you would write me.
Let me explain why noone could ever like me
It all started when my father used to strike me
Raped and confused every since 1990
He’s gone now but I can’t put it all behind me
I tried to run away but my pain would always find me
Is God really the one who can help me (yes He is)
Signed tonight your Number 1 Fan
Dear number one fan I gotta lot to tell you
But with the email there is only so much I can help you
See I know a Father who could never ever fail you
He’ll give you a love when nobody ever cared to
I know you might feel like everybody hates you
And you feel like you got noone you can relate to
But death feels like the best place to escape to
But thats a lie that Satan, he just wants to tell you
I’m sorry that you were abused, your father raped you
But you gotta get some help cause nobody can make you
I know its hard to face but God will give you the strength to
I know you gots a lot of things you gotta work through
But with this help I know that you can break through
I seen it myself all the times He came through
Tell me what you think of what I sent you
I’ll be prayin', Sincerely KJ-52
Yo, I’d be pretending if I said this story had a happy endin
But after that night I never heard from her again
That night I tossed and turned lyin on my bed en
Cryin and prayin with these thoughts runnin through my head en
Did she do it, take her life, or wind up dead en
Or did she not choose it, just listened to what I said en
Maybe she never got the last one I was sendin
Was it my fault was it something I shoulda mentioned
Every mornin I would just check my email
Checkin for any detail, hopin an prayin that shes well
My emails came back sayin that they’d failed
No such address for Number1Fan@hotmail
Days turned to weeks and weeks turned to months en
Time would pass and I just heard nuthin
No letter no email no not even just somethin
What happened to my Number 1 fan I’m still wonderin