| The last of England’s spoiled brats
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| Grand order of the gutter rats
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| A big fish in a public house
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| You’re never going to learn to shut your mouth
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| A silly pseudo lager lout
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| With nothing much to shout about
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| Spent hours looking in the mirror
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| Trying to perfect the perfect pout
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| Now take the spotlight
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| And pause for your applause
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| Well my oh my you’re such a big boy
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| On a Saturday night
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| You try but there is always something
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| Something not right inside
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| There’s always someone
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| Somebody else to take
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| The power and the glory
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| All for themselves
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| With you I suffered heaven knows
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| Although we never came to blows
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| It’s just as well 'cos I can tell
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| I would have wiped the floor with you
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| You don’t like 'them' you don’t like 'us'
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| You make me laugh but seriously
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| I look at you what do I see?
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| A clapped out Nazi with a blunderbuss
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| So take the spotlight
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| And pause for your applause
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| Well my oh my you’re such a big boy
|
| On a Saturday night
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| You try but there is always something
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| Something not right inside
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| There’s always someone
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| Somebody else to take
|
| The power and the glory
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| All for themselves
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| So take the stage and
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| Let’s have a great big hand now
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| My oh my you’re such a big boy
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| On a Saturday night
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| That’s when you really know they love you
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| When somebody else will feed your face
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| And kiss your arse
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| And wonder where the time flew past
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| Oh yes my darling’s such a
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| Big boy on a Saturday night |