| Eat your heart out, Johnny B
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| Apollo came down and was good to me
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| He set me on fire and sang me a tune
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| And he mixed up my mind like a crazy cartoon
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| And now I’m callin' the doctor
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| 'Cause I’m ringing like a bell
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| And I play the guitar like a demon from Hell
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| 'Cause I was once a normal kid
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| 'Til the Devil came down and flipped my lid
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| He gave me a switchblade, he gave me a muse
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| And he vomited acid all over my shoes
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| And now I’m screaming and sinning
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| And I’m doing it well
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| And my head is a-spinning like a demon from Hell
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| Now I’m not normal and I can’t understand
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| What it takes to be a normal man
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| I go so loco into the unknown
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| I’m a-screaming evil on your telephone
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| Yeah, I’m fucking and sucking (?)
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| And I’m casting a spell
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| And I’m stabbing the pitchfork like a demon from Hell
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| Yeah, I’m callin' the doctor
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| 'Cause I’m ringing like a bell
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| And I play the guitar like a demon from Hell |